he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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