She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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