I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
