i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
