Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Randomize
