My first STD was from a foam party
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
