Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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