if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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