...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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