Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
