hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize