In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
