Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
