just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
