you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
