can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
