i would punch a child for taco bell
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
