that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
