I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
