Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
birth control should be required to get into college
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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