What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
