I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
