I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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