I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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