I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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