Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
