she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
