He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
