oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
