He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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