so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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