i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
