either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Barsexuality is the new black.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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