I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
