But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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