Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
