i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
