Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
