So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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