It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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