Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
