i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Ladies don't puke and tell
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
