let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
