I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize