Nicole vs. Life
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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