Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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