I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
