remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
