That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
