there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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