it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
