i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
