Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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