and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize