apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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