I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
