Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
